Sunday, August 22, 2010

Today, I have a new religion! I need some advice?!?

I have been a Christian, a Taoist, a Pagan, an Atheist, and today I am a Harley Chick. I'm dumping it all and taking to the road!





I no nothing about this new path! Including how to drive the bike. That starts Monday.





So, as not to be chased down like the idiots in WildHogs, how do I acclimate to my new lifestyle and fast?





Hint- He/she who provides me with the greatest laugh wins. I'm trying to psych myself up, here!Today, I have a new religion! I need some advice?!?
Demosthenes wrote :





';grow a mustache, put on a studded collar, and have people call you Larry from now on.';





I agree, and would just suggest that you get down to your nearest local Hog trough, get your face into the chow, and put on an extra 200 lbs of pork, and that should put you right in with the 'out' crowd.





On a serious note, make one of your items on your 'to do' list be to ride the Blue Ridge Parkway, all the way from Virginia to Georgia, gotta be one of the best biking roads in the world.





Have fun. :-)))Today, I have a new religion! I need some advice?!?
That went great! Way easier to do while I'm smiling.

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One more thing Daz Maz; there is a link below for the Blue Ridge parkway. I love the smokey Mountains! I was there last summer and it's so gorgeous.

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Thanks for the vote and good luck with the hogging, I wish I were going with you, I love the Smokies too, Cherokee City is one of my favourite stop offs.

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Well, first you have to go to the church of Biker Bitches United Leatherists. Next, you need to either ride a big hawg, or someone that owns one. (I own one, by the way) For services, you have to wear all black leather (okay, I'm drooling here) and make him wear a shirt that says, ';If you can read this, then the ***** fell off'; on the back. Now, you have to learn to suck start a Harley (I'm available for classes). Once you can do that, you're ready. Get a helmet without a face shield so that everyone will be able to see how happy you are by the bugs in your teeth. Good luck.
You make me laugh!! Harley Chicks need to pray to the God Harley 3 times a day while riding naked on the motorcycle with your eyes closed. Other then that your traditional dress must include something leather, chained, and a helmet that must not be removed for anyone but your husband.





Harley Bless!!





Ps. Dont forget to stay away from the devil - Kawasaki!!
I dunno,but there is a scene about halfway through ';Rat Race'; that has ';Harley Chicks'; in it...and that is hilarious. Congratulations on the best damn bike in the world (I'm allowed to be biased, not only am I from Milwaukee, but my dad has worked for Harley-D for 15 years now)
grow a mustache, put on a studded collar, and have people call you larry from now on.





you should fit in fine!





Demosthenes
first thing - buy a harley.


second thing - take lessons


third thing - go to ebay and buy some cool harley stuff


don't go to the harley stuff and buy it cause it will be way expensive. try ebay first


and finally, get insurance on your bike.......... (sorry just had to say it....)
If you need to be able to do it by Monday, stop at the bar on the way to Ray's Truckstop, ask for a fella named SeaBass. Tell him Jake sent you for the weekend special. Wear jeans, tight jeans, with nothing underneath, and bring a 6-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon. The rest is optional. We'll have you ridin' in no time sugar.
Don't do it. You know how Harley Davidsons and Vacuum Cleaners are alike, don't you?








They both have dirt bags on 'em.





Safe journeys!!!
The open road, like the open mind doesn't need beliefs, doesn't need to get to a better place, it *knows* where it is and is very happy. Religion is for the ones driving the 4 wheeled coffins, they do not like where they are, see there frowns? To be as one is, is truth, to be going someplace better is a lie, who could ask for more than *this*? ~ : )
Whatevr rocks your boat


Remeber that the choice is yours


God gave you that
Gets some daisy dukes that have your cheeks hanging out so that after 5 miles or so your fanny looks like chocolate cookie dough from all the flies that are stuck to it. Also go tanning so much before Monday that your skin looks like you are a mummy brought back to life, excluding the sunglasses area of course. Get a leather jacket too small so that people can see your tramp stamp from behind, your love handles from the side, and your stretch marks folding over in the front. Smoke so many cigarrettes that your voicebox gets burned and you choke on your own mucus when you talk! Yay! You are now a biker chick!
Congratulations!!





They say experience is the best teacher, so I'd say you should get the maximum experience in the minimum time.





In other words, ';Haul your Butt onto that Hog and Haul It!!
fill up your gastank and go back to Christianity....its the BEST
Pray....

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